He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dignity is for republicans.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
