girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
