the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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