You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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