you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
