Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
