If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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