Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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