it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
