yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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