he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
