I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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