the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Michael Bay diarrhea
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
