I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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