don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
