why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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