smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she looked like the before picture.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
