I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
