everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
