I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
