Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
