He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
