That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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