I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
COCAINE IS GR8
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