just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
