im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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