Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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