thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
