I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
