I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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