I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
