We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
