are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize