The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
