Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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