I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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