Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
