But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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