from now on my penis is your penis
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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