awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
