Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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