we made out on top of his cat.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
