I cockslap morals
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
