4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
