i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
