i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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