I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
