Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
