its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
