you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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