ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
