State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
