just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
