Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
