My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
