whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
