After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
