I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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