Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
